Two Guys

I met the worst people through Metafilter. Metafilter is a CESSPIT and membership there seems to be a giant red flag.

In some sense, I don't really want to malign Mo. I do think he mistreated me and probably continued stalking me and likely "coincidentally" emailed me out of the blue because I resumed participation on Cyburbia and stated upfront that I was there because I had applied for a professional job.

I don't recall exactly why we began talking, but it was based on mutual weirdo interests and not because we both happened to be homeless. And I was extremely sympathetic to the fact that he was homeless because he didn't want to take the prescription drugs for his condition that made him employable but also created a private hell of side effects.

I don't tell this story to drag Mo. I'm telling it to talk about what truly awful people the upper class Christian nutters openly hating on homeless people so many Mefites are.

I do my level best to judge people as individuals. I don't go "Oh YOU are CHRISTIAN! Time to HATE on you!" And I don't go "Oh YOU are HOMELESS! Time to think the worst of you!"

Mo self identified as Christian and I don't think I've ever said that before. It's a private matter and no one's business and I didn't have issue with it.

He was a Christian who said things to me like "You needing a friend makes this a good time to run into me." That's not an exact quote but I said something to him one of the two or three times he came back into my life about "This is a TERRIBLE time to contact me." and he rebutted that with something along the lines of "Sounds like a great time to contact you so I can be of service to someone I care about."

So, I mean, he's definitely "a mental case" and supposed to be on DRUGS for it, but his brand of Christianity isn't poisonous garbage.

My interpretation of his personal issues was that he was twice exceptional -- high IQ plus a problem -- and he was genuinely a danger to himself and others while still a child and his parents and other adults in his life didn't have effective coping strategies for keeping him safe and protecting other people from him, so their efforts to do so left him dysfunctional.

So this is a story about how you can try to judge someone on their actions and not some label or personal prejudice.

He and I began talking about whatever and my impression was he was attracted but not overtly hitting on me and I said "Hey, I could use some male attention and was hoping you would do the honors." And he's like "I'm not looking for a relationship." And I said I'm not either etc.

So we sort that out and agree to spend time together for the next week while opportunity presents itself and then he decides he really likes me and wants to meet me and I'm kind of dismissive like "Yeah, right. We're both homeless and on opposite coasts." and he tosses out three or four ways he could potentially make the arrangements and be there in as little as a few days or a week or two.

That made me uncomfortable and there was more back and forth. Eventually we agree to meet and this drags out for MONTHS, no, he's not there in a week-ish. I eventually dump him.

But I agreed to meet him in part because I felt Jacques Mattheij, self made millionaire, was interested and taking way too much of my time while not showing up or even emailing me and I was like "Well, show me. Bring it. You say you get things done, do the thing. Maybe a poor man can show up, unlike a rich man whom I feel is stringing me along."

Though I didn't say anything like that to him. I didn't make this a test of "Can you bring it though you are poor and homeless?" I just agreed to what he wanted and then he dithered etc., not because he was HOMELESS but because of the dysfunctional stuff from people trying to neutralize a genuinely dangerous child.

I also exchanged emails for a time with a guy I met through Metafilter who eventually offered to help me out by offering me the glorious opportunity to launder money for him. 

My experience of Metafilter was shockingly bad and people who contacted me privately because they knew me through Metafilter -- "The Best of the Web," making the world a better place! -- were some of the most dysfunctional people I've ever met.

Including Mo, though I felt he had his good points and to a large degree was a victim circumstance because parents should have better resources for dealing with twice exceptional kids whom they just would like to keep safe.