PR, Fame and Personal Relationships

Madonna once said in an interview something like "I'm never getting married again. I would rather DIE." The next day or week or whatever, all the articles were about her then-boyfriend being deeply hurt and what a sick burn that was.

And I always wonder exactly where that went wrong. Like people on the Internet, famous people seem to IMAGINE this is totes a private conversation, just between you and me, and then act surprised to learn it's not.

I'm guessing she wasn't really thinking about her then-boyfriend hearing this when she said it. And then you can't really walk it back and go "Oh, I meant like OTHER men, baby. You KNOW I adore YOU!!!"

I similarly feel like when Linda Blair said in an interview that she found Rick James attractive, she probably didn't imagine that would get back to him. It resulted in an intimate relationship for a time, but this was in 1982 and it was a print magazine and the Internet was not a big thing. I feel like she probably really felt like it was a private conversation and whatever got said in print kind of had no bearing on the discussion.

It's super hard to try to figure out how to talk to people in a way that considers the potential reactions of all possible parties under the best of circumstances and on a small scale. With the Internet and billions of people potentially able to read anything you write, GOOD LUCK WITH THAT!

It's like Patton nearly being fired at a critical point in the war because of what he imagined were private remarks to a few ladies and then it blew up.

And it's almost always the worst possible interpretation of anything that blows up. It's NEVER like "Oh, hey, that was CUTE and we are CHARMED!" It's almost ALWAYS "If you squint and douse it in our hatred and insecurities, man, we want to greet you with a lynch mob!"

Even Linda Blair getting to date Rick James left both feeling burned. They probably jumped into an intimate relationship with both feet without really getting to know each other and one was Black and one was White and it was likely a terrible way to navigate an interracial relationship.

I mean, at a minimum we are talking about different cultural and social expectations even if you assume the best possible scenario which is not realistic to assume in the US. Interracial relationships end up having to navigate a lot of social pitfalls and it's nigh impossible to have the relationship not be significantly harmed by that if you aren't really prepared for that.

Studies show that online dating has been a boon for the LGBTQ community and for interracial relationships. Being able to get to know someone privately without having to deal with the social crap significantly increases the odds of the relationship becoming a serious, committed relationship.

I read an article once where a Hispanic guy said he dated a White woman for a time and ultimately dumped her in spite of her never acting like "Hispanic! Ooh LA LA! Sex object!" because other people made him feel that way.

I no longer participate on social media. I blog and have essentially no traffic.

I desperately want to give it up. There's no good way to engage with an audience of billions.

And planet Earth doesn't appear to even be making a good faith effort to figure it out.