Venus, Mars and Pills
I made a stub in January with the title of this post and was reminded of that fact while reading an article about a single mom who went to jail for two years after a miscarriage. I didn't read the whole article.
I'm a woman and many years on Cyburbia I remarked on the fact that insurance would cover Viagra for erectile dysfunction in men too old to get it up without help but typically didn't cover birth control pills. And I gave my opinion about that and was met with an outcry of open hatred from multiple men and accusations that I'm mentally ill or something.
This is a societal policy that men have a RIGHT to get their sexual needs met even if their willy doesn't work anymore and women are literally and figuratively going to pay for it if they are sexually active.
And they are going to pay for it even though they are young enough to be fertile and obviously servicing a man because if you are a strict lesbian who only ever hooks up with other women, you don't need birth control pills.
Why was the father not charged with a crime for impregnating a single mom of two children under circumstances where she clearly felt she couldn't count on him to provide financial support for the child?
Why is there not more of a cultural expectation that "Dude, if you aren't going to keep it zipped, you need to supply a condom and if you don't, you can expect the courts to bleed you for child support."?
It takes two people to make a baby and one of them needs to be male.
In some sex positive cultures, men just assume if they get a gal in trouble, there will be a shotgun wedding. Mostly not true in White American culture in my experience and it was White American men who all failed to provide the condom I told them beforehand was a necessity for medical reasons because I had a treatment-resistant infection that doctors were failing to identify.
(Them: "She has a genetic disorder. I can't catch that. I don't need a condom and can cavalierly endanger her life for my ten minutes of fun.")
I once told a guy who was fascinated by the women his friend got involved with "He doesn't pick hot women. His women are hot because they're his."
The man we were talking about married his first wife because she got pregnant by him. If he asked you to get your freak on with him and there were consequences, he was going to do right by you.
This isn't merely a sexist policy. It's openly hostile to women in a way that directly makes women not eager to put out.
Assholes who blatantly signal "As a man, I have a RIGHT to get laid. As a woman, if you stupidly put out, you have ZERO rights and may well go to jail or raise a child alone with no support from me while everyone calls you a WHORE." aren't exactly appealing lovers that women are eager to service.
And then America acts MYSTIFIED that we have an "incel" movement of angry, bitter ASSHOLE men who feel ENTITLED to sex and like some chick OWES them a good time while they piss all over people about it and have ZERO respect for her, etc.
Footnote
My mother called having a child "a twenty year sentence." I don't know how to slip in that joke about jail or twenty year sentence, either way, your life is ruined for stupidly giving him a good time. And he's probably not operating on a basis of making sure she gets her rocks off in exchange for getting his off.