FAS and the Native Community
Reddit post about fetal alcohol syndrome and other trauma for a member of the Native community.
It's got 49 upvotes, zero replies. It implies enormous interest and no answers and no willingness to even discuss it.
My mother was wonderful but she's also on a short list of people I had screaming fights with at one time. She grew up in Germany during World War II and its aftermath.
I fought a lot with her in my teens. I left home and consciously decided to let some things go because of her backstory.
As an adult, I worked at intentionally disengaging from some things and not letting it bother me. Once I no longer lived with her, it was easier to credit her with the good things she did and not engage overly much with some of her other stuff.
There are resources for victims of sexual assault but most aren't really that good. I was fortunate to have gotten support from some incredible people at some critical points in my life.
1. It's okay to feel your feelings.
Whatever you FEEL about whatever trauma you've endured, start by just privately acknowledging it. There's no right or wrong way to feel. Whatever you FEEL, those are your feelings.
People often have trouble recovering because they get told that some feelings, like anger, are morally wrong. There's nothing morally wrong with feeling angry.
Feelings don't have morality. Actions have morality.
Righteous anger can be a force for good. Anger isn't a moral failing.
See also: Anger Management
2. It can help to try to separate things like "I LOOK like my mother" from more important ways of being like her.
Even having specific traits doesn't mean you have to end up handling them the way she handled them.
You get half your genes from her. You are bound to have things in common with her. That doesn't mean you are doomed.
3. Work on your physical health.
Odds are high that some of her problems were in some sense passed on biologically because she likely had infections and nutritional deficiencies.
To whatever degree that is true, better nutrition, better hygiene and killing old infections can help you put the legacy of genocide to rest to some degree.
I will recommend you start with this post:
I wrote a piece titled Sadly about the lack of resources for male victims of sex crimes which may help figure out how to start developing something for your demographic.
I also run r/Imnotyourmommy on Reddit. It doesn't have a lot of content so shouldn't be a big burden to read through.